Combine brown rice, 1 cup water, and a pinch of salt to small saucepan. Bring to a boil, cover, reduce heat to low, and cook until grains are tender and water is absorbed, 30 to 35 minutes.

Add just 3 tbsp vinegar, just 1 tbsp sugar, ¼ tsp salt, and ½ cup water to small saucepan. Bring pickling liquid to a boil and remove from heat. Combine cucumber, jalapeño, carrot, and pickling liquid in medium heatproof bowl. Transfer to refrigerator. (TIP: Always wash your hands and cutting board thoroughly after, and consider wearing rubber gloves when working with spicy peppers to avoid skin irritation.)

Heat 1 tbsp vegetable oil in large nonstick skillet over medium-high heat. Add seitan and cook until crispy in places, 4 to 5 minutes. Add remaining rice vinegar, just 1 tsp sugar, and tamari and cook, tossing occasionally, until sticky, about 1 minute.

Combine garlic, mayo, and just 1/2 tsp sriracha in small bowl. (TIP: Add more Sriracha if you prefer more spice.)

Divide rice between bowls and top with crispy seitan, pickled vegetables, and cilantro. Serve with spicy mayo. Ăn nào!

For 4-serving meal, double all ingredients. You may need to cook in batches, in larger cooking vessels, or for longer cook times. Follow visual cues in 2-serving recipe.